Adoring Discipline

A phrase I coined for a friend's Corner :) to differentiate the mere physical acts of spanking (which many include in their life for varying levels of physical need), from the entire aura and headspace of PunishMentality in a very loving relationship, where the emotional needs of the disciplinee are very well understood by a Disciplinarian who adores her.

Adoring D/s

Denotes Dominance and Submission practiced between those in a healthy, love relationship, as opposed to the broader genre of general D/s, which is so often practiced between more casual partners or strangers, in clubs and other gatherings.

It isn't a matter of the intensity of the D/s, it's about the different headspace when submission is offered to a Love, and the dominance practiced on someone you adore, which elevates the emotional and psychological intensity of the physical play so gorgeously.

AfterCare

The ALL important tending to the heart and bottom of one that has been disciplined. For many, this is the defining emotional moment of healthy Adoring Discipline, when forgiveness and absolution is offered. 

The pursuit by adults of feelings which one associates with another age;  Using roleplay, fantasy, or alternative lifestyles to create the dynamic of an older authority figure (Guardian) and a younger, emotionally-real Innerkid in a relationship that is pseudo-parental, catering to the needs of the Innerkid as realistically as possible, as if she had a biokid's emotional needs, for some combination of the therapeutic emotional experience, and the physical, sensory, or sexual fulfillment. On Guardian Island, Innerkids are considered emotionally-real, and Ageplay is about nurturing and guiding and protecting the Innerkid, as a biological parent does their biokid.

Backside of Guardian Island

The backside of the Island is devoted to sexual Adult Ageplay, celebrating the mingling of healthy, grownup relationships, and the Ageplay needs of Innerkids, through above-board fiction, discussion, and roleplay.

On the Backside, you'll find people whose Ageplay needs include sexuality, whether in the form of actual sexual activity, or added spices to the care of an Innergirl.

If your Innerkid is curious about her sexual feelings, or finds it perfectly natural to have special physical times with her Guardian then you will be understood on this side of Guardian Island.

"Backside of Love"

Having noticed down through the years that there were a number of common threads and themes, both emotionally and sexually, which devotees of the lifestyle genres of Domestic Discipline, Adoring D/s, and reParenting (Adult Ageplay), often share, we've coined the phrase Backside of Love as shorthand for these often difficult-to-define themes.

So many of the intrigues, needs, and methods used to practice these lifestyles, overlap and apply to another. A very common focus on the bottom, for example, runs through these genres, whether for discipline, training, medical attentions, or soothing. And the headspaces of profound trust, in order to find the fulfillment possible when giving some measure of authority over one's self, to a loved one, exist in very similar form, whether that authority and trust feels best to you in the form of submitting to your spouse's discipline, or your Top's training, or your adopted Guardian's guidance.

Three purportedly-different lifestyles, which in fact are fairly-similar variations on a common set of themes.

And so, we plumb the depths of these concepts and lifestyles armed with a conceptual shorthand which covers so much territory, so concisely: The Backside of Guardian Island housing our community devoted to these special and intriguing headspaces -- and the  Backside of Love magazine for more written, and visual, explorations.
 

Bigperson

The adult persona of those who also have Innerkid personae. Used to distinguish between the "Inner Child" part of one's personality, and the adult part.

An Innerkid might say to another, "My bigperson has a really uptight family, so I don't get to come out very often..."

Biokid

A child who is currently a biological minor, used in the context of Ageplay to differentiate between the experiences of an actual child, and those of an innerkid.

On Guardian Island, reminiscence and fantasy of how one might wish to have been treated as a child, don't involve Biokids, since no actual, biological child is being discussed in that context.

Biokids, of course, are never discussed in terms of Adult Ageplay activities, except to contrast their own lives with those of Innerkids. More discussion of Ageplay ethics can be found here, and is recommended for new members of Guardian Island.

Charge

The member of an Ageplay relationship who gives some measure of authority to another (Guardian), in order to create the headspace of being a biokid.

Daddy

Obviously this is a role, and term of endearment, very common in the Ageplay world, and  isn't about any biological relative. Many Innergirls crave a partner (whether romantic or not) whom they can think of with the special emotional attachments which the word "Daddy" brings to them.

Many of the traditionally-held attributes of good biological fathers, mirror attributes that a lot of Innergirls are craving in their life. Reliability, strength, protection, comfort... it's common for someone in these relationships to encapsulate those sorts of feelings about someone with the endearment "Daddy".

Of course one could fill many books (and many have been!) talking about the finer points and the origins of craving "fatherly" attributes in a lifestyle partner, and some women find too much discomfort with using a title which reminds them too much of their biological fathers, particularly those with sexual Ageplay/etc relationships.

I've encountered a number of Innergirls who want a "Daddy" as part of a relationship because of diametrically opposite sensibilities burned into them from childhood. Sometimes, if the father was harsh or dictatorial or even physically abusive, the Innerkid is feeling a subconscious craving to re-experience their childhood, with someone they've chosen this time, whom they trust this time, and who enacts even intense things like punishments, but this time she is comforted, and cherished, and obviously loved.

So, an Innergirl's desire to think of an adult partner as "Daddy" can have all manner of sources and triggers, but I've never met any for whom using the word invoked any connection to their bio-father -- they crave fatherly attributes in an adult partner, without carrying forward any connection to their actual father.
 

D/lg (Daddy / littlegirl)

Shorthand for the Adult Ageplay lifestyle of a "Daddy" who is reParenting an (adult) "little girl" in the relationship. Typically includes many of the traditional trappings that a biokid who was thought of as a "Daddy's girl" would be very comfortable with.

DD (Domestic Discipline)

The application of traditional, domestically-flavored forms of Corporal Punishment in an adult relationship, usually meant to indicate that one partner is given the authority to use spanking in a way that at times has been socially appropriate for biokids and spouses, in some cultures.

Emotionally-Real Ageplay (or Innerkid)

Defines the flavour of Adult Ageplay which foments emotional experiences very similar to that of a Biokid, as opposed to lighter roleplay (or foreplay) flavours of Ageplay.

Many Innerkids experience emotions as potently and richly as do Biokids. For others, their Innerkid is more of an activity, a diversion, or pastime, rather than a state of being, or an emotional reality, as it is for the emotionally-real Innerkid.

Foster Guardian

An adult persona providing Guardianship temporarily to an Innerkid, as opposed to having adopted her or him into a relationship. Foster Guardians provide the safe stewardship of Innerkids in the Daycare sessions, for example.

Many Innerkids experience Ageplay on a very real emotional level, as real and visceral as does a Biokid. For them, the activities and events of Ageplay aren't mere Roleplay, but are very real on the most powerful levels.

Some might argue that what most of us do, as part of Ageplay, is by definition, "playing a role"... and therefore roleplay.

But that's focusing just on the physical, the external, where (indeed) an adult who is behaving like a child, but isn't a child, can be thought of as playing a role.

But hereabouts, we care only about the Inner Journey, not the merely external -- so many Innerkids, who are emotionally *real*, are experiencing the feelings and sensitivities which she did at that biological age. For her, the play, the activities of Adult Ageplay, are a role only in the most superficial sense -- the real *point* to all of that play, and of appearing to take on a role, is the trust and comfort she needs to re-experience the very *real* thoughts and feelings which she did back then, when she was biologically her Innerkid's age. For her, being in that place is *not* a role -- her Innergirl is simply *her* (in all the most important ways), when she *was* that age.

The motivation for that varies, but the point is to make this Inner Journey *real*, emotionally real, for many Adult Ageplayers.

That's Realplay, as opposed to Roleplay.