Married and internet ageplay* 1st post*

[AngelGirl0310]

I am married and in my early 40's. Hubby is very straight laced. I never had a close relationship with my dad. I love the idea of age play and have been visiting the yahoo chatrooms for a few months  now. I have found one now I really liked. He told me he is going to h ave to collar me. Hubby has no idea what i am doing on here. Age play or anal play would totally turn him off. Is it wrong to play with this stuff if  y ou are  married and your partner will never be able to fullfill you this way?

I don't want to lose my marriage by leaving but I cannot just have straight sex and be happy. Age play is somethign I need.

Also I listed in  my profile I like to play 14 and up but many of these guys seem to be looking for adults playing girls of about 10 and that wierds me out just a bit. I guess I don't want to be encouraging anyone to go out and hurt a real person, thi sis  just adult fantasy. Can anyone give me their opinions?

I am so new to this but love my daddy dom relationship.

Angel

[Elizabeth]

hi angelgirl,

ageplay for me (and most others who live the lifestyle) is something that i not only want, but need (just like you mentioned)...i'd never be happy in a vanilla relationship.  been there, done that, and wouldn't do it again...life's too short to not have my wants and needs met.

some online doms have responded to a profile i have up at an alternative website, and some have been honest about being married to someone who's not into it...but that the wife is "okay" with him finding someone to meet those needs.  i'm not a home wrecker...so i never respond to those.

i guess, in my opinion, it would depend on how open your relationship with your husband is, and how you would be able to accept being married and having someone else as a daddy.  lots of people do it and are happy. some incorporate their relationship with their husband with the relationship with their daddies.

good luck, in whatever you decide to do.

[Kitty]

Kitty's Big here


First of all,  Hiya and Welcome

I think you have made a huge step in the right direction.  You came here and said what you feel.  In my opinon it takes alot to do that and I think it is very good that you did it.

I don't know you and I don't know your husband. So everything I say is merely opinion and what I would do. 

Honesty and communication to me are key.  They are essential for any and all relationships.  I think it you need to talk to your husband,  everyone deserves to know the truth.  Who knows,  he may surprise you and like the idea of ageplay and such.

Even though it may be online,  the relationship you have with your online Daddy is very real.  And if my husband was to do something like that I would be very upset if it had been kept a secret from me.

I would never keep anything from him.  If anything,  I want him to share in all my experiences with me. 

For example,  I met someone online a little over a year ago, a woman.  She lives in Germany,  before I knew it, it was like we just clicked,  and even though I love her very much,  it is a different kinda love.  We have also never met before since she is on the other side of the world.  But anyway I am rambling here...my point is,  before it even got kinky if you will,  I told my husband and told him how I felt and we talked at length.  Cause I will tell you one thing,  He is the most important to me,  I love him more than anyone person in the entire world and beyond.  If he is not ok, I am not ok. 

Thing is,  I would never not tell him,  I would never betray him is such a way.  Also,  one more tidbit,  if it feels wrong,  and you are worried about it,  then it probably is wrong.  Obviously you are worried about it or you would not be here telling us and asking for advice.  I think that is a great step in the right direction,  the fact that you feel that.  Some people don't and don't care what their partner feels,  you do.  Which tells me you love your husband very much.  Now the question is,  do you love him,  or are you in love with him.  Love is the easy part you know,  you can fall in love with anyone,  it is the everyday life ins and outs and truly finding and knowing eachother inside and out that is the tricky part. 

This relationship you have online,  is it really him, or is it just someone who is fulfilling your fantasies for the time being and saying all the right things?  Love or lust?

My last tidbit...

Be honest,  open up to the man you married,  no matter what comes out of it,  you will feel better,  you will be able to be happy.  Good luck to you hun

[Elizabeth]

Also,  one more tidbit,  if it feels wrong,  and you are worried about it,  then it probably is wrong. 

{nods in agreement with Kitty}

are your gut instincts usually on target?

that's something to think about too.

good luck to you.

[AngelGirl0310]

Yes, my gut instincts ARE usually on target and I do feel wrong about this HOWEVER I am tryign to figure out a way to hold my marriage together.

 Wow so much going on here. No, he would have a cow if he knew i was on the net with this guy. The guy is married and I think we  both just want an online relationship. I think I can stay in this marriage and be Ok if i can be fulfilled sexually thru my online time.

 Hubby would freak out if he knew what i was doing. He already is wondering what I am up to. I took the   dog out for an early AM walk this morning and had slipped a pair of shorts on under my T Shirt and kicked them off (the shorts by the PC) to play awhile before going back to bed on the PC. He made a comment, you took 2 hours to come  back to bed? Oh and I found your shorts downstairs...

We were both raised very conservative and in church. He has gotten more so and I have gotten less so. We have been married 24 years and have  3 kids 16, 18 and 21. When the daughter is out of school (2 more years) am not sure where this marriage will go. Guess we will have to see then.

I am also getting more comfortable with playing 10.. it really is about taking care of our inner child not about being perverts.. although some things he likes to do I raise the age.. I'm still figuring all this stuff out. I just don't want to end up with someone  online that is, ya k now.

Am I in love with my husband? I do love  him but am I in love? I am not sure I can answer that.. if I had to do it all over marrying him would I ? I'm not so sure.. he will always be  special to me but too many dynamics here and without him I would not have my daughter.

My dad in RL always saw the imperfections in me and rejected those. I was never good enough. I never meet up with hubbys expectations of me either. Right now I am enjoying being accepted and this guy that never had kids is enjoying having a daughter. 

I will try to approach  hubby about the ageplay and other stuff later. He is going out of town Thursday afternoon and won't be back till Sunday and I need this time to think.

[princess evie]

good luck.. you may be mildly surprised at the results if you do tell him...

if your anything like me.. the anticipation of his reaction is usually worse then the reality...

Hugs...

evie

[AngelGirl0310]

Thanks Evie.. and by telling I meant about the ageplay, bondage and sex stuff.. not the RP Daddy Dom I have. God knows i never want to lose or hurt my new daddy Dom either. Things are  pretty complcated right now. My little  girl just wants to take a nap or go to the beach or something and  have it all better.

[juliesyourangel]

i am married and i had to introduce the topic of ageplay to my husband who is the devoted father of bio little girls. it is important to frame the topic well and be sure to let him know it is about you the WOMAN and your INNER girl- most of my husband's hesitation came from misunderstandings.(he just is a really good guy)

also, my husband and i both come from conservative backgrounds (he has been my only lover). i really think that for us we got a lot of peace from the idea that really what happens in our bed, between us (for us, no judgement on my part towards anyone else who has polyamory work for them) is just about us and it doesnt hurt anyone else.

so, i hope that helps and take care of yourself and  know you are supported.
-- julie

[quietlad]

Quick advice...I can definitely recommmend The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron.  The reason I bring it up...I discovered/reconnected with my Innerkid "through" this book...her major hypothesis is that the inner Artist IS a child, consciously or not, and that Art/Creativity of all kinds,  is NOT as "separate" from "real life" as most people in most fields have been *trained* to believe.

The program takes about 12 weeks (3 months) of very "simple", playful creative exercises, one day at a time and one week at a time.

I'm not saying it will "save" your marriage...only you and he can do that...but it *might* give you a clean, "Vanilla" way to "back into" the subject of your Inner Girl and her emotional needs without threatening anything...and it's something you can do for yourself, by yourself, regardless of where hubby is or how he reacts to anything.

It is NOT wrong to want the connection with your Innerkid, dear...but it *may* be wrong to go about it the way you are, and the *desire* to keep secrets from your spouse is a definite sign of trouble, no matter who owns the "bigger" part of the problem.

The book runs about $12.95 for your first copy...but the emotional toolbox inside is powerful enough that you will either love it or hate it, and if you do use it, you will soon find yourself buying other copies for friends.  Yes, it is simply that good.

Meanwhile, as Sir Thomas More once said to the Cardinal...We shall have my prayers to fall back on...you certainly have mine, along with Best Wishes.

Respect Is Everything.
The Quietlad

[sarafina]

hi, i know how hard a spot yer in. cause iwas in it myself almost exactly the same a year an a half ago...

an then i met my Pappa fer real real and i knew i HAD ta tell m Spouse, cause G is m bestest friend and i love him and hes the father of my daughter and well. i would never wanna jepordize m relationship with him. an i did cause i met with Pappa before i told G how serious it was. sorta i didnt know myown self, and sorta i just didnt know what ta say and was thinkin i could keep it all seperate. only i couldnt. and when i told G it was awful hard an He was very upset and it was a really hard time fer us an i WAY WAY wished that afore i had met with Pappa i had talked ta G cause that would a been way better an saved us al  alotta grief. so i guess what i am sayin is in hindsight, in my own situation which of course cant be EXACTLY like yers cause m not you, it woulda been alot better iffen i had just spilled the beans about it all and been way upfront from the begining. cause one way or the other its gonna hit the fan. an iffen ya have been deceptive, than on top of all that orther stuff ya have the trust issue ta deal with. that was what was hardest fer G... the lack of trust that resulted from my hidin how important my online relationship had become.. and then that it had become analig as well...

anyhow, life is strange and complicated, if we make it that way, but i dont think you can go to far wrong by bein truthful.

oxoxo
sara

[subversivelittleone]

raising hand

ummm, this is a really old thread, if'n anybody didn' notice... i'm not sure dey need help now.

[sarafina]

*grin*
the nice thang is somebody, sometime will need these words and find em.. so its ok that the original poster aint prolly dealin with this.. who knows... maybe she is...

*shakin her head cause she never members ta look at the stupid date...*

[ChilternPete]

Hi Angel,

Well we should certainly understand each other's hesitancy at least, as I come come the opposite side of the discussion.

From my point of view I think that we can perhaps submerge this side of our nature, whether we should or not is another question.

The "girls" that I have met feel this so strongly as part of them, that to my mind you have to explore, if only to convince yourself you understand fully where this comes from and, indeed, where you want it to lead to.

If you can not find this within your existing relationship, then you have a decision to make, easier (though not easy) for me, harder I always think for you, but you must either take the step, or try and bury the whole idea, there is no halfway house.

Happy to chat anytime.

[DaddysBloodyPrincess]

I don't know if the girl who posted this originally still needs advice, but I had to reply because my marriage was on the line way back when.  I was on the computer all the time, looking through yahoo chat for someone to ageplay with;  I hope ya'll can understand when I say it became an obsession.  Finally, my husband just had had enough of my secrecy and confronted me.  So, I sat down and wrote the hardest letter of my life explaining all my needs and wants and desires...and that I hoped he could share them with me. 

I am a lucky girl.  It turned out that Daddy had some of the same desires I did.  If we hadn't have opened up, we probably wouldn't be together right now.

My advise--be honest, even if it's painful.  You might be surprised.

Good luck.

DB Princess

[skeeterdoo]

Hi I'm skeeterdo, I'm new to the backside of love but my goodness your life sounds just like mine.

I was married for 25 yrs, had 2 daughters who are now 21 and 23. I was happy the first few years but then it turned sour. He was always so judgemental of me and made me feel like the ugliest person on earth. the last 7 yrs I slept alone on a couch, ate alone and watched tv alone. He made no attempt to be close to me. The worst of it started when we got the computer. I was so lonely and I found chatroomdom. Had some good laughs there, it was fun. I had kids so I couldn't go out or do anything else I wanted to play the straight vanilla mom who taught them good values while I played online hiding the fact that I was exploring D/s and Masters and submissive things.
I know that online relationships are very addicting. They are safe he is there and you are here. Your marriage stays in tact. No one knows and when you get off the computer you leave no evidence of your playing around.
Don't tell your husband what your doing online it would only breed distrust and that will definantly end your marriage! And for gods sake don't tell him you are having a relationship with some other man. This is adultery no matter how you look at it and if you have any hopes of fixing your marriage or improving it thats not the way. The only thing you'll do by telling him is taking some of the guilt off your own shoulders and placing it on his, an innocent party. That is jsut wrong, I have been haunting Yahoo rooms for 8 yrs now I know from experience that online relationships only last a year or two especially if one or both parties are married, you break up and you go through that mourning period of a loss, then you look for someone else. It happens over and over again. The real problem is this.........do you trust your husband enough to tell him what you have desired or want to try out by READING online (NOT by roleplaying online) do you fear he will judge you or laugh at you? If you do then maybe there is a flaw in your marriage. If you don't trust him enough to come out and say "honey I want to try ageplay" then try some other tactics like when your going to be pull down your pants and lay over the side of the bed and say "Playfully" Daddy I've been a naughty girl please spank me", see how he reacts. I'll lay bets he comes over and gives you what you want. IF he does then crawl up on the bed and lure him into making love to you, roleplay the little girl by saying "daddy you know its naughty for me to want to be with you but I can't help  myself" then go down on him hehehe. You have to introduce it into something he'll feel comfortable with. This isn't just a topic you bring up at dinner time. When your done and laying there in the after glow, whisper to him how much you enjoyed being a little girl for him and how the rigors of daily life make you wish you could go back in time and be cuddled and babied and ask him if he'd mind doing that for you sometimes. My god you have alot of kids you deserve some pampering too. Ask him what his fantasies are and tell him that you've been reading alot online about how to have a very open marriage and how it starts with trusting each other enough to open up and share your needs. Telll him you've had this need for him to be a Dominant figure in your life so you feel like you have someone you can come to, to kiss all your inner booboos better. Tell him how your own dad didn't come through for you and with having to be so dominant in your own childrens lives you really miss that secure feeling. Have you been feeling insecure lately? Is your husband making you feel insecure or just the daily tasks of taking care of al those kids getting you down? Making you feel a need to go back where its safe, secure and Daddy will take care of you when you can't seem to go on. Tell him this when he's relaxed after a night of play and more receptive to the idea. He may like the idea. You can't go to him with an idea of what you want you need to have a list of things you'd like to try, who knows maybe he has been on the computer exploring something to.  You have to work on getting your relationship in such a place where you both will share your fantasies and willing to play with them. Don't tell him about this other man. You'll only kill whatever little trust you have now between you.

[skeeterdoo]

Opps PS

Master and I started out D/s and we still are but I have called him Daddy for the past 1 1/2 yrs and slowly discovering what I like and telling him so he keeps doing it. for instance he tucked me in bed one night and I found that watching him go out of the room and slowly closing the door behind him, I laid there and felt such an inner warmth and just downright snuggley I fell right to sleep. I told him and so now he does it alot. One night I couldnt sleep though and when he turned the light off and closed the door I flipped on the TV with the remote, he came back in for something and saw this, I got rolled over, spanked and remote was taken away. Won't do that again ! It takes time to develop this relationship you just don't jump into it full force in one night you'll find things you like and don't like.

tip toes off before someone tells me to go stand in the corner for talkin to much

[AngelGirl0310]

My word Skeeterdoo you have given me a LOT of good advice and wisdom here. Thank you. 

[AngelGirl0310]

Well we finally had a long talk about 3 weeks ago. I actually played the shy bad girl, how I know it was wrong and went down on him. I then turned over and  and got paddled. He made me get down on all 4's and took me from behind vaginally while fingering my bum.

Daddy as also been hugging me and massaging me in bed before I sleep and making me  feel special.

Last night however was the best. He took me over his knee and paddled me GOOD, I was surprised, allowed me to cum once then made me get down on my knees in front of him and suck daddys cock.He finally flipped me on the bed and took his girl. He told me how bad I was and that very soon he was going to take my ass.

 I am just in heaven. Had I never come here i would never have had the security to ask for what i want and it is becoming a major turn on to him. i am making myself hot just thinking about last night.