Breaking a sub/slave or babygirl

[DaddyBo aka DaddyDom4lilone]

Breaking a sub/slave/lilone?

Just my thoughts on this subject

I know there are a lot of D/M's who want to break their sub/slave. So that they may have a mindless automaton. One that will do all, be all, they are bid to be. Like a mindless doll.  And I am sure there are quite a few women who are ok with that. But I would wonder how healthy that lady was.

 
I for one, would never want to break my lilone's spirit. I'd risk damaging her soul and heart. Taking away all that made her the person I was attracted to in the first place. And I need to be attracted to my lilone. Both physically and mentally.

 
 I am no different than the next guy. So, sure I want my lilone to be my lil toy, slut, whore, slave, to my desires. Yes, I want to be her Lord and Master what ever you want to name it. But, I also want that interaction. Those true, emotional and physical responses. I want and need her love and undying devotion. I am after all, a romantic renaissance man. By breaking my lilone, I risk losing to much of what makes her who she is. I might as well just go out and get a blow up doll.

 

Part of what gives me pleasure in my relationship with my lil one, is to see how far I can bring her to achieving true subspace. Through all of her senses. Through pain of pure pleasure. To finally bring all the things that make up what we are as DaddyDom/lilone into the one. Through my control. She becomes more than she ever was. And through her........so do I.


Let no Daddy...Master......Dom...ever say he can be what he is without his lilone. He is as much a slave to his desire as his lil one. He cannot be what he is without her. Makes you wonder, sometimes. Who is the slave and who is the Master? The answer is both. We are all slaves to our needs and desires. What lifts us above the animals, is that we at least know we have a choice. And some semblance of control. LOL (I hope)

 

 

 

[iamhere]

You have that right, its what i have been thinking, well said....

[blue eyes]

thank you for this post....i wouldn't have understood what you meant by breaking a person a few months ago but sadly do now...no matter how or why  it happens the sub/girl  is left feeling empty and blaming herself...if she had only done what he asked  or could have understood his needs a little better...personally i wish there were an all better pill to make me feel whole and happy again, to allow me to not doubt myself

[DaddyBo aka DaddyDom4lilone]

Hi soft,
          It is rarely the subs fault, unless your a total brat. But I do not get that impression. Sounds to me like you had an abussive Dom. One that no matter what you did he was never happy. Not your fault babygirl. One other thing, and since I do not know you, I don't know how much this will help. But you should never count your worth by another persons eyes. Only by your own. I have always told sub/slave/babygirls....that it is important to learn to be your own protector. I am not saying not to give yourself completely to your D/M. I want and need that from my lady. But, she knows here submission to me is honored, no matter what kind of spanking I give her...    Just trying to make you smile.

As I said it is rarely the subs fault. It is almost always the Doms.

you will be better.....promise........I am getting better after my fiasco. In my case it was the subs. She was a liar, player, and user. My fault too..I guess. Because I knew.....I just wanted her to be for real so bad...I overlooked to many things. And it was one of those lomg distant things........which you can never be sure of. So you see.....we all can fall into the trap.

hugs
DaddyBo

thank you for this post....i wouldn't have understood what you meant by breaking a person a few months ago but sadly do now...no matter how or why  it happens the sub/girl  is left feeling empty and blaming herself...if she had only done what he asked  or could have understood his needs a little better...personally i wish there were an all better pill to make me feel whole and happy again, to allow me to not doubt myself

[DaddyBo aka DaddyDom4lilone]

Thanks.....by the way.....I got your meaning from the other post you left. (the Master/demigod post) It was appreciated. Sometimes, (as was in my case) it is easy to be mis-understood on line. Don't let it bother you. But, may I make a suggestion? In which I intend to follow myself. Try to think out your responses....read them back....to see if they make sense to you. I have noticed, that some folks can be a lil hard on people here.....when they don't understand what you are trying to say.

be well
DB


Thanks

You have that right, its what i have been thinking, well said....

[flutter]

~lil flutter's big speaking now~
Thanks for this post, Daddy Bo. Actually, i think this is a pretty important point. When i was new to this, i so wanted to be broken, not really understanding what it was all about. For some reason, i thought it would be a good thing, somehow help me to be 'more' submissive, make me 'more' His...or something.

Now that more time and experience has passed (both positive and negative), i have come to find that to break me is to make me into something other than who i am. Sure, i can always use some growth, to learn, to become better in many ways. But to break me? One Man attempted to do that, telling me i needed to forget all that i had ever learned, to do things His way. He wished to micro-manage me. That so goes against my personal belief that in order to be a good submissive, one must have a fairly well functioning brain. After all, how am i to please One if i am unable to think for myself, to learn to anticipate His needs, to be able to figure out ways of giving to Him?

sheesh, there i go...rambling. Bottom line here is that i am totally agreeing with You. A wonderful elderly man who has since passed away used to hate it when a man called a woman a doll. His definition of a doll was an empty headed play thing. Slut? Slave? Whore? Toy? Yes, to the One, and that One will help me grow in ways i never thought possible. And i will be His.

[sarafina]

noddin with a quirt smile.. cause iffen m learnin ANYTHING from Pappa... its how ta be *more* sara... not less...

and becomin more His in that manner....

[shorty]

't's a sad thing t' see the spirit 'f 'ny living creature broken.  't takes such sustained cruelty in most cases that i think 't must be exhausting t' the person doing 't.  our spirit 's what makes each 'f 's who we are.  't 's a precious thing 'n should be treasured, not destroyed.  i think there's a special place 'n the afterlife f'r people who get off 'n doing that t' people.  *wicked evil grin*  't would be nice 'f the governments 'f the world would let me create a special place for them on earth.

[daisie]

I can't imagine having the person that I trust the most in the world "breaking" me. I'm broken enough all by myself! *grins*

A dominant's job, so to speak, is all about bouying his beloved charge into the best person that she can be, so that she shines for him and the rest of the world!

[quietlad]

Well said, All.

For me, I think participating in the *healing* of a broken spirit when you *didn't* cause it is an integral part of the "rush!" :-)  Understanding that YOUR training has gone bone deep into your beloved at some point or another and watching them use it to be EVEN STRONGER than when they began, and STILL give that new strength back to you from the true thankfulness which is so much beyond any shy or cowardly sense of "indebtedness" that moves in 'nilla society.

Watching what I often refer to as "honor debts" aprroach infinity, DEFINING love as they do so, because what is real love except honor after hoinor, infinitely indebted and infinitely repaying itself in the same moment?

Westerner that I am, I must admit that for these reasons I have very rarely seen the "eyes down" position demanded by many masters and mistresses used to good effect...I'm sure it CAN be done very prettily indeed, but I have never actually seen it so.

Mira Furlan put this attitude  very succinctly in her role as Ambassador Delenn when she said: "I cannot have an assistant who will not LOOK UP, since he will be forever running into things!"
 :-)

So I demand that my Beloved meet my eyes, even if I *have* just finished putting tears in hers...

Yet more evidence that...
Respect Is Everything,

The Quietlad

[Sorrcha]

   I am lost again,somebuddy needs to hold my hand and show me the way, sniff , I'm alone but trying to be brave. ... ..